my date with god |
This last year has been a struggle in almost every way. I became an empty nester, I moved to an area where I know no one and I watched my business crumble like sand running through my fingertips. I have cried more tears than I could ever think possible. I have felt desperate to the point where it physically hurts. I have been lost in the negativity of this season of my life. I needed an escape…so I asked God for a date. I wanted to go into nature and just get lost in His love. I selfishly wanted Him to tell me exactly what I was supposed to do next. I thought maybe if I just surrendered fully with no distractions I would emerge with complete clarity.
I woke in the morning of our date and spent time meditating in His word. I read my devotional and journaled like I do most mornings. I cried and asked Him to speak to me in the way I could hear Him. I had bible study group that morning but I almost didn’t go. I felt so raw and emotionally damaged. I felt weak. I had a lump in my throat and tears ready to burst out of my eyes. At the end of the group study, I asked the ladies to pray for me. I told them my intention for the day and instantly they gathered around me. I do not know these women very well so I felt very vulnerable. They each one at a time told me what they noticed about me. They each said, “Isha when you walk into a room I see ……”. They each used words that were specifically what I prayed for. Words of who I wanted to be. Words of what I wanted people to notice in me. Words that blessed me to my core. I knew at that moment that God was ready and prepping me for our date.
I drove to Torrey Pines State Park and headed up the steep hill along the mountain. I was listening to music, casually smiling at others but secretly wishing to go unnoticed. I got to the first of many trails and decided to take it. I had never been on it before. It was private and peaceful. I started to feel self conscious and worried I was praying wrong. I started doubting myself and wondering if I had prayed the wrong way my whole life. I was suddenly completely insecure. Just at that moment, I came around a bend and in front of me was the most incredible view of the Pacific Ocean and a single bench at the edge beckoning me to come sit. As I sat, I was in awe of the beauty in front of me. I felt small but I also felt like I belonged there.
I sat for about 20 minutes in prayer. Talking to God like I would a close friend. Crying to Him. Pleading for change. As I stood up to go on with my hike I thought to myself, maybe I am crazy. Why would this magnificent God give me peace on demand? And in that exact moment, a giant school of dolphin leaped out of the water directly in front of me. Racing each other, playing in the surf, jumping and spinning. There were babies maybe only a few feet long swimming fast and glorious next to their mommas. They would race towards me so fast and then cut into the waves and ride them like magic. I was humbled. I was mesmerized. I knew that this gift was for me. It was a gift from my maker showing me that the most simple blessings are the most valuable. I could not tear myself away. I stood there for over an hour watching them. I felt like a little girl who was witnessing pure magic. Anyone that walked by got to see and hear that little girl trying to come out of me. Every single person said they come to that spot every day and had never seen anything like it.
It was my gift from God.
I finished the trail and moved on to the next one It took me up and over the mountain to the beach. It was quiet. It was beautiful. It was all for me. I walked along the beach, my feet unsteady from the millions of rocks that have washed ashore. God has presented me with heart-shaped rocks many times when I am in nature. I can feel God pushing me to look down and voila there is always a heart-shaped rock. On this day I was thanking God for wooing me. I was giddy about it. I asked Him to present me with a rock for this special occassion. Again, I was almost laughing at myself thinking God certainly ddoes not have time for this. So I decided just to enjoy the view. There were so many colors and textures. So many places where years of waves had created something new. You could see the distinct lines in the rocks giving evidence to years of courtship. I came upon a goregous pile of giant boulders that had the most intricate patterns and color schemes. I took a few photos and even questioned myself as to why they were calling me so strongly. As I got closer I saw it. I could not believe my eyes. The sight took my breath away and filled my eyes with grateful tears. Boulder after boulder in the shape of hearts (photos below). I was elated beyond anything I had ever felt. I knew in that moment that God loved me as much as I loved Him.
I am completely in love with my maker. I am in love with a God who loves me even with all my shortcomings and demands. I am in love with every gorgeous gift of nature that He has created for me. I have been blessed to have a love affair with Him like no other. I have learned that there is nothing consistent in life but His love. I have learned that no matter what is going on in my life, He is the only one that can bring me peace.
Ask Him on a date…..you will be amazed at how He shows up.